How to Look Good in Your Prius

Published Saturday, 12 July 2014

Now. This IS unusual. I haven't talked about the one thing I normally talk about lots, cars. Here we go...

It is a common stereotype: Prius drivers are boring people who ought to be locked up in old people homes for making the horrendous mistake of buying themselves a prius in the first place. Not so anymore, as I have some simple tips to help you look good whilst prancing around in your prius (Note: these tips may or may not affect your oh-so-sought-for gas mileage - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Oh, and these tips are not guaranteed to work):

  1. Wear an awesome hat and pair of glasses like you stole it.
    If you look like a normal person in a Prius, you're doing it wrong. Ramp up the macho and wear a friggin' awesome cowboy hat and an awesome pair of shades! When you get out, people will imagine you're leaving a really awesome muscle car. They will (or they might).
  2. Drive it like you stole it.
    If you drive your Prius by the book, coasting wherever possible to save fuel and recharge the batteries, people will loathe you (Because they want to get past you and look better than you). The Prius has the advantage over similar vehicles in its class because pedal to the metal means both the petrol and electric engine give you all they've got. MORE POWER!
  3. Paint it like you stole it.
    What good is it wearing you silly hat and your silly glasses and driving it like a silly little kid who should be using public transport when nobody notices your silent blur (silent unless you've got your foot planted) whizzing past them? Give yourself an epic white/blue two tone and rock that motherf*cker!
  4. Park it like you stole it.
    You have your clothes, your speed and your two tone. Now what? Go find an executive's parking space and park in it of course! People will eventually catch on that the rich kids are spending their money on new Prii (the official plural for Prius) and will view you as a cool pioneer in Prius awesomeness.

There you go. You now know how to look good in your Prius, so don your hat, your glasses, give it a frikkin' awesome paint-do and race it down to the exec's space and walk away like a badass.

Be a proud Priuser.